my standard break from life

blackbird501 @ 2013-08-18T10:29:00

2009-08-18T15:30:08Z

You're as funny as emergency surgery in a dim lit hospital room with all my guts in front of you for your picking through

blackbird501 @ 2013-05-22T18:13:00

2009-05-22T23:14:06Z

Floating in the ocean we were drifting all alone
he was looking to the sky for help
I was looking for the shore
he gave no apology as sharks came circling in
the answer must be here,
just relax now don't look back you'll only make things worse,

the answer must be here

Crawling on the water just because he couldn't swim
I don't know how I got here but I'm glad I came
Who do you answer to?

He turned the water into wine
We drank the ocean dry
He asked me for a cigarette
He turned the water into wine
We drank the ocean dry
He asked me for a cigarette, like any other guy

You can't smoke your just a baby
It'll make you sick, keep you from breathing
You cant swim your just a baby
Splashing on the surface, sinking in the deep end
You cant drink your just a baby
It will make you sick, keep you from growing

He turned the water into wine
We drank the ocean dry
He asked for a cigarette like any other guy

HE SAID, it's almost as I've done this before...
WALKING all the way back home we pass..
DEAD FISH carcasses with awful stenches..
I DON'T know how I got here but I'm content...
TO KEEP YOU, away from making bad decisions..
AFTER all you're just a baby Jesus,
CONTENT, our lives aren't what we thought they'd be..
I'm fine today

im miserable, i dont try because i dont want to lose anything anymore. at this point im just making you all happy, your happy im still here, but not happy i am here. youd only miss me if i were gone, and i dont want to be missed, just forgotten.

ceremony

2009-04-27T19:42:25Z

This is why events unnerve me,
They find it all, a different story,
Notice whom for wheels are turning,
Turn again and turn towards this time,
All she asks the strength to hold me,
Then again the same old story,
World will travel, oh so quickly,
Travel first and lean towards this time.

Oh, Ill break them down, no mercy shown,
Heaven knows, its got to be this time,
Watching her, these things she said,
The times she cried,
Too frail to wake this time.

Oh Ill break them down, no mercy shown
Heaven knows, its got to be this time,
Avenues all lined with trees,
Picture me and then you start watching,
Watching forever, forever,
Watching love grow, forever,
Letting me know, forever.

blackbird501 @ 2013-03-30T13:15:00

2009-03-30T18:16:21Z

It wasnt till I wanted to stay, that they asked me to leave.

Im looking at insurance online because I think I'm dying.

new orders ceremony

2009-03-11T22:08:04Z

is probly one of my favorite songs of all time.

IF MY LIFE HAD A SPELLCHECK

2009-02-14T21:38:14Z

I DELETE EVERYTHING ELSE AND GET STRAIGHT TO BRANDY!

cheese cheese cheese, im cheesy but lets face facts here my girlfriends fuckin croosh croosh modeen!

the hardest thing youll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

2009-02-04T12:16:57Z

idiot-n.

1. A foolish or stupid person.
2. A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.

savant- n.

1. A learned person; a scholar.

idiot savant-An intellectually disabled person who exhibits extraordinary ability in a highly specialized area, such as mathematics or music.

i am miserable/a tacticle manuever involving life.

2009-01-15T17:15:10Z

I'm not necessarily miserable as much as i am a miserable excuse for anything, a person, a friend, a confidant, I am kept alive for five minutes of witty rapport floating in a sea of complete disdain for everything here.

I don't care for pats on the back or expect them,my mood will probly change in five seconds anyway.

allin.

On the sunnier side of my split personality,

The Wednesdays are playing tonight, pretty much all of my favorite bands are playing this weekend,I'm so excited music is like C.P.R for me, gets my heart beating again, gets my blood flowing.

I know why Elvis did the pills.

are you

2009-01-03T10:30:15Z

edit.

traveling swallowing dramamine

2008-12-16T02:02:55Z

I'm getting ready to leave to new york to meet Brandy's mom, Ive never kicked it away from home on Christmas before, I'm super nervous. I have to be in a plane! so if i don't have a heart attack from that we might be ok!

Ive recently acquired everything Henry Rollins has ever done as far as his spoken word albums and i can only hope to have half a life as interesting as his, I'm so hooked i could listen to him tell stories for forever, "I'm on my way to dc to play with a band called the misfits" i mean holy shit i was born in the wrong decade, im thankful i missed out on hair metal though.

brandy got me xm radio for Christmas, i am immersed in music! I love it, music to me is like a buffer for the rest of the world, an interpreter helping me understand everything and i also use it to try to help others understand me, if god took my ears i hope he takes the rest of me with them.

my girlfriend astounds me daily, shes an overwhelming sense of all-rightness that previously eluded me, shes breathing into a paper bag or counting to ten when your angry personified for me.

farewell wish me luck!.

confessions of a dangerous mind.

2008-12-03T03:24:22Z

how do i tell the rest of the world that despite me smiling and laughing, i actually spend most of my day trying not to fucking lose my shit, i am so angry at something most the time and dont know what to do about it, im angry at my complacency my inability to feel alright or like i have a place in this world or anybody that would blink if i left it, i spend most my time trying not to look at this place as a target to convey my anger, and see the best in everyone and everything, but then i usually just wind up being angry at me and for every obstacle i remove it seems 2 take their place.

im comfortable doing nothing because anything i try feels like shadowboxing, running in place or vaguely familiar like "oh ive heard this song before and know how its going to end, cut out early and beat the traffic".

"how long till what you were going to be becomes what you have been"

give me the strength to be widowed.

2008-11-22T17:23:29Z

I tied the devil to the tracks
(can you hear the train coming?).
I served him papers with a seal from the governor.
The spoiler throwing voices, the vapors that they built this city on.
But he don't write much for me anymore.

When we keep hell in our hearts,
We make no excuse for our genius.
So what's my excuse now that hell has abandoned me?
I enticed the devil out with a bottle.
But maybe it was he who lured me out instead.
When we slept in penitent beds,
We awoke in the loving arms of attrition.
So what's my excuse that hell isn't courting me?

Give me the strength to be widowed now that the honeymoon's over.
Grant me the privileges saved for the sailors.
Condemned with you all.
Goddamn you all.

I marched across the muddied stream,
Illuminated from beneath.
The lock was picked with the church's key we found on the belt of the veteran
To open bar tabs in the taverns assembled in levels by the damned and fanatic for me.

We never loved ourselves so well as when we lusted after another.
We hummed along to electric guitars and the standard "whoa oh oh oh's"
And we drank each other under the covers.

I eased the devil back with the throttle,
Because I'd rather live my life in regret than not take part in it.
If the devil don't mind, well it's alright with me.
So what do I do when the devil don't notice me?

Give me the strength to be widowed now that the honeymoon's over
Grant me the privileges saved for the sailors.
Condemned with you all.
Goddamn you all.

(And in my 27th year, I was dragged kicking and screaming into the
Light. I looked at god in the face and I said, I said god I said, "I
Thought I was in heaven the whole time")

I tied the devil to the tracks
(can you hear the train coming?)
And I tied the tracks in a lover's knot around the finger of a beautiful girl.
I'll keep hell if hell will have me.

my girlfriend melts my face.

2008-10-12T23:56:46Z

my shit is hard to put up with and so am i but she does it with grace and charm, thats all you need to know.

converge rocks.

and shes super easy on the eyes.

last light.

2008-10-04T15:53:45Z

i need you to be the strength of widows and soul survivors
i need you to be as fearless as new mothers and new fathers
i need you to be the hope of hearts who lost true love
i need you to be the might of their first kiss
i need a purpose and i need a reason
i need to know that there is trophy and meaning
to all that we lose and all we fight for
to all our loves and our wars
keep breathing
keep living
keep searching
keep pushing on
keep bleeding
keep healing
keep fading
keep shining on
this is for the hearts still beating

imma piss in yo mouth!!!!

2008-09-17T17:37:37Z

dude, alright what a crazy week i just don't stop doing stuff!, i went from not doing alot to always being busy weather it be at work or at the box or with friends or my girlfriend, I also tried out for a new band last week and got that so now were adding band practice into the mix! I want to see burn after reading! my birthdays coming up! imma be old as balls! awesome! im crying on the inside, my party's gonna be at the box on Sunday the 28 its a private party so you have to at least know me to come, there's gonna be bands and such so everybody plan on coming out and drinking to celebrate my oldness, my girl got me tickets to nick swardson on the day of my birthday in Atlanta, were gonna spend the weekend their with friends,Im excited! that girl fuckin rules!! my bands name is viper lightning, so suck on that!

im bar tending at the box on thursdays so you guys come and take advantage of $1 pbr and $3 imports and badass beers.

chris will be working also so come hang out and get tanked.

hey guys! DRINK WHEN YOU DO THEM!

2008-09-15T05:06:03Z

I AM CRAZY.

allin killpatrick you are so fucking stupid.

2008-09-08T08:54:19Z

arent ya? yeah you are.

list of things i need or need to do.

2008-09-02T08:49:16Z

1.purchase new united nations record,(the collaboration of glassjaw/thursday/converge

2.purchase new underoath cd.

3. purchase new sound of animals fighting record then promptly shit self over its incredibleness.

4.work to pay another 2 hundred dollars for rent so i can live in a dope house in downtown with friends.

5.buy present for girlfriend because shes awesome.

6.plan for my birthday.

7.play and tune drums with mike.

8.contact phil about recording scene assassins.

9.wash and pack up all my shit.

10.give more money to mia for bill left at hillsdale house, and get all shit from said house.

11.try to find job that pays better.

12.take money by liquid.

13.look for acacia strain hoodie to be delivered.

that was an incredible hurricane.

2008-09-02T06:51:57Z

not, so i drank a 5th of rum with my lady and grilled burgers and we passed out,

twas a good day.

opinions please?

2008-08-21T19:29:37Z

or does it seem as if an a rediculous number of people are dying lately, i mean it seems like people are dropping like flies, maybe im just getting older but damn, everyone i know has had someone die on them in the last year its terrifying, my aunt died, im just wondering if its only a phase, maybe a thinning of the heard? or is it the beginning of something worse, or is that the paranoia talking.

never sleep ever.

2008-08-21T15:38:32Z

and i never do.

my girlfriends awesome.

holy shit my livejournal still works!

2008-08-19T14:34:05Z

this is amazing!!

the runner (allin killpatrick death is to easy for some)

2007-10-18T11:10:21Z

Hard times as we go
We know what times will change
I talked to Jesus
Jesus says I'm okay

Pushing and jumping
Jumping the mountain range
And in a railroad
Railroad from Hell to Maine

While she says she's on her own
I'll be pacing on the phone
Taking numbers, taking names

Awful sick and tired of the game
She comes from nothing
Hoping for a taste of fame
She's got a birthmark
A birthmark the shape of Maine

While she says she's on her own
I'll be pacing on the phone
Taking numbers, taking names

Awful sick and tired of the game
And it's cold and it's cold and it's cold and it's cold when you're near
Cold when you're near any bottle
And it's cold and it's cold and it's cold when you're near
Cold when you're near any bottle
And it's cold and it's cold and it's cold when you're near
Cold when you're near any bottle

Hard times as we go
We know where times will change
I talk to Jesus
Jesus everyday

Hard times as we go.

yo give a kiss to my mother,

2007-04-15T21:41:21Z

Every time I make a run
Girl you turn around and cry
I ask myself, why oh why?
See you must understand
I can't work a nine to five
so I'll be Gone...'Til November

Said I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November
Yo, tell my girl yo I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November
Yo, tell my girl yo I'll be Gone 'Til November
January, February, March, April, May...
I see you crying, but girl I can't stay
I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November...
And give a kiss to my mother...

Girl I gotta leave, please don't cry
When I come back, you know the limit's the sky
I'll take you out to dinner, to your favorite spot
Feed you an aphrodisiac just to get you hot
Drive-by movies, by a cemetary
If my corpse could talk then I would tell you I was sorry
Lifestyles of The Rich & Famous,
Some die with a name, some die nameless

suck it.

2007-03-29T16:51:00Z